This is a paraphrasing of what a friend of mine told me about her childhood experience of being alienated from one of her parents. I find it very helpful in understanding the hostility of my own children so that I can have compassion for them and not take it personally:

“Every day I went to school and interacted with the “normal” world outside. It made me feel much the way I’ve heard soldiers describe their homecoming from war zones.  I’d come home and feel this huge disconnect…I had so much to talk about but who would understand? And I was so confused that I couldn’t even form the words in my own head.  There was NO-ONE I could trust to talk about it.”

“I also reacted with a lot of anger to any emotional sea change I felt.  So, for instance, if I found myself liking or feeling sympathetic to the family, friends, and guardians…

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