To Celebrate

It was my father’s birthday this week. He was down the shore with my Mom and I decided to surprise him and show up for dinner. I was determined to make this a happy day for him. But like most holidays without the kids, Dad’s birthday was more acknowledged than celebrated.

It’s hard to believe that it was just two years ago that my kids would enthusiastically participate in family celebrations, decorating for anniversaries and birthdays. Folding linen napkins for the table and taking pride in how our house looked for company. Mine were children who were the focus of most family celebrations. The saying “children should be seen and not heard” had no place at our table. I encouraged my children to remain after the meal and participate in the various discussions we would have over fruit and nuts and wine. They learned a lot over the years as we sat around the table as a family. These are some of the happiest memories I have of them.

That’s all changed now. Now I leave them messages to remind them it’s their Grandfathers birthday and watch the day pass, hoping they will call. Celebrations just aren’t the same anymore. But my family has lost many loved ones over the years, some to old age, others taken so quickly it’s still hard to believe they are gone. We mourn, we adjust, we accept that they are gone, and then, with family, we find ourselves celebrating them once again as we smile and retell stories and share memories.

It is so much more difficult, if not impossible to move on and celebrate events in the absence of an alienated child. Maybe its because we never have closure, we don’t accept that they are gone because they may very well return tomorrow, or maybe next month, or next year. So if we cant move on what do we do? How do we go forward at least? We need to find a way to continue to celebrate life for ourselves and for the loving family and friends who surround us. No small order.

A fellow blogger posted the following on her site Lonelyparent.wordpress.com . I believe it’s good advice for all adults who struggle with direction while they are without the alienated children they love.


  • LonelyParent


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3 Responses to “To Celebrate”

  1. Outstanding thanks very much!

    Like

  2. Reblogged this on lightworker15 and commented:
    Unbelievable. Here I sat all alone thinking and thinking; -Where do I turn? -Who can help? -Where do I start? Please God, light me a path like the commercial with the “start here” arrows for finding my way through Visitation Interference and Parental Alienation; similar to how the commercial was for family/financial planning.

    Thank you all. I will post my story soon, and offer my support to all who are suffering, in danger of suffering, and in need of light, belief, courage, and/or strength to embrace the events this life has brought us -together.

    Sincerely,
    Jade

    Like

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